[Dar Es Salaam - Phuket] Day 32 -- Confining Space

I rose right on time for my morning watch. It was day thirtytwo, four more days to go. My brother had been up all night and was almost cheerful. He'd played with the course and the sails until we were back to five knots speed. Actually, there was nothing but dead air hanging around us and most of our speed came from the engine. The sea was as flat as the pancakes we would have for breakfast and there were no waves, not even a swell, to slow us. The wind was constantly shifting slightly and we adjusted sails in tiny bits to keep our pace.

After an hour, the captain rose and before we touched the pancakes ordered the main sail up, to make our own wind, as he called it. Making your own wind is a term used in sailing for changing the wind in your favour by the speed you're making. The true wind is different from the wind apparent on the boat which changes with the speed its making. But with almost no wind and us already producing wind solely by use of our engine I doubted the physics of making any more wind. Friction is the great loser in the equation, but I was up for at least trying, even though I felt like filling my groaning stomach first. We pulled up the main, but wouldn't get any wind into it so make it look like a sail. I merely hang there like an old rag put up to dry and forgotten. The main up resulted in a drop of our speed by over half a knot. I didn't like it and neither did my brother. He mentioned the pure fact of the loss in velocity, but the captain put all discussion aside, "The sails stay up!"

I've had enough. I grabbed a pancake and went to the foreship. I still couldn't decide whether it was stupidity, ignorance, stubborness, or all of the above. The man's 40 years of experience in deep waters seemed useless and waisted if he was incapable of accepting simple facts. I felt a rage coming up against the authority I had put myself under when boarding the ship. I had still not found any good way of dealing with men I thought to be incapable and stubborn at the same time, especially if above me in hierarchy. Now every annoying detail about the person almost disgusted me. His shortcomings as a captain, his frequent changes in mood, his prejudiced opinions, and the always too harsh way in dealing with anyone, even friends. I could live with a man's flaws if he was able to see and admit them himself. The captain, it seemed, in front of us at least, could not. A man who cannot see or admit his own flaws, even if pointed to them with his nose, I consider a blind man. Be it for arrogance, inability, unwillingness, or even disbelief I did not care, I just didn't like the results.

Every mile we gained towards our destination felt like a mile of distance I put between the captain and me. I couldn't wait to arrive and gain some real space. The boat as an environment got too confined a place for me to share with a man I'd almost come to dislike. The actual problem was the limited space on the boat as it gave no way out of the situation. Anywhere else, such distress with an aquaintance could simply be solved by a little distance or direct confrontation. I was starting to avoid the captain, seeking his absence in about the same manner I had sought shade before.

Late morning we came close to the shipping lanes off Sumatra. Cargo ships became a frequent sight and during the watches it was now more important than ever to keep an eye on them. The calm lasted all day and the last ripple on the water disappeared to form a sleek oily surface once again. With such a sunny yet uneventful day, we went back to hanging around lazily and time was now streching like a rubber band around a fat man's belly. It wasn't until afternoon that we got enough wind to at least have the sails catch the wind instead of hanging losely. During the night, though, the wind speeds increased steadily but fortunately left the sea surface still calm, so the boat slid easily through the sea. The sky was clear and showed billions of stars between a few scattered clouds. The sea, that had lay calm for a full day now, had finally gotten its green nightly glow back looking almost like small green reflections of the stars above. It was caused by the movement of microscopic phosphorensic algae and looked most beautiful when the dark oily water was not yet lit by the moon that was soon to rise. We'd not had the glow after the Maldives since the sea had been so rough. Infinite beauty had returned to the sea and even though continually driven towards our goal we could still admire and enjoy that.

captains log:
0600 shift wind ESE, up Genoa
up Main, no speed, overcast sky
1000 ship to the north
no wind at all, 1-3 kn overcast
1130 stop E, check oil etc.
1200 CLOCK 1 hour faster
1200 N5°26 E91°18
ship III
clear sky, no wind
revs 1900, M, Mizzen, Genoa